Customers.

A fat woman came into the shoe store today....

Wait, that was somebody else. My customer story is a little broader. Heh.

A customer came in today looking for a VCR. Not the DVD/VCR combos we still carry for another six months or so mind you, a VCR. Now, I showed him the little combo thingies we had and Customer X said he wasn't interested. He only wanted a stand-alone VCR. Fucking really?!?!?

VHS is a format that was dead 10 YEARS AGO!!!!! What could you have that's possibly interesting enough to still watch on VHS after all that time? Game film of your high school football team that you were obviously the aide or perhaps water boy? No one cares anymore. Get a life fucko. Family movies of the kids when they were little? Fat chance! This guy was so morbidly obese that even if he could find his reproductive organs, the chance of his being able to copulate with a woman (assuming he could find a willing one) is nil. What's that you say sir? You have all the Oscar ceremonies since 1982 recorded? Well, if that's your idea of entertainment, sitting in your grease-stained recliner watching Nick Cage's acceptance speech for Moonstruck (ugh) with a bowl of fritos, yelling at your mother for buying the off-brand bean dip cause it was 17 cents cheaper than Frito-Lay all the while wondering why the girl who rang you up at Target hasn't called you yet after you gave her ALL your numbers then I'm afraid you have no choice but to kill yourself. Your life is just too sad for it to continue.

I know lots of people who work retail and have bad customers, but it seems like the crazies always seek me out. This guy actually had the nerve to say to me that DVD was just a fad, and that VHS was the better of the two options. Well, DVD is getting replaced by Blu-ray, so I guess he's partially correct.

Why doesn't the world die?