It's Sunday.... I'm late for Friday.

I know. I know. I didn't post on Friday. A man gets busy. Sue me. (Please don't sue me as I have no money and it might make me cry.)

So......

I've said it before but probably the coolest thing about living in Colorado is the amount of free shit there is to do around here. Or should I say seemingly free shit? Oh sure, you can go hiking in the mountains for free, and camping fees are very cheap, even going out to dinner can have very little fee associated with it if you have the right coupons. However, with the hiking and the fishing and the camping I do have a bit of a gripe: You gotta have a lot of gear and that gear ain't free!

I can already hear the people trying to argue with this. "You don't have to have a lot of gear... just go minimalist!" Fuck you. I don't do minimal. I go overboard. That's how I work. For hiking I feel that you need to have at least a liter of water for every mile, a roll of T.P. for emergencies, two knives, if I'm deep-woods hiking than I would want another form of armament as well, a G.P.S., snacks, and a spare set of clothes. And that's just for hiking. I've never even been camping before but when I do finally get to go I would want all the amenities of home. A camp stove would be a must. We'd possibly need a bigger tent. I don't have a sleeping bag yet. Mess kits and utensils for camping would be needed. There's also probably a lot of other things we would need that I don't even know about because, as mentioned above, I haven't ever been camping. The gear for the hiking I already have, but I've been shopping around for the camping gear and that brings me to my question of the day:

Why is it so expensive to take advantage of free things to do?

This shit is pricey. Really pricey. I've been trying to off-set some of the cost by shopping at Arvada Military Surplus store, but even still I could get wiped out by how much all this stuff is. I'm actually having to practice patience and not just buy everything I want all at once cause I just can't afford it all right now. And that's just not me.

But really. All I want to do is enjoy some of this nature stuff before someone decides to drill for oil here. So why is it you make me pay through the nose for the gear to do so? Don't you think that there should be a free service that has all the gear you need? For a state that touts its natural beauty as much as Colorado does, you'd think they would have state funded "Camping Stations" set up at scenic areas with the campsite all set up and everything ready to go so all you have to do is hike in, throw your gear down, go down to the lake and catch some dinner, come back and cook it, get drunk, and repeat the next day. When you're done camping, all you do is hike away and the Camping Station attendants (housekeeping staff without the house) comes into the site and preps everything for the next reservation. I'm thinking an outdoor hotel. Come to think of it, that's not a bad idea for a business...

Surprises

So......

Now that I've started the whole blogging thing I love that I get people telling me that it's time for me to put up a new blog. It keeps me consistent. I really am grateful for people that push me to keep going no matter how much I want to just loaf around and not do anything. Which brings me to a blog topic that is (strangely) not me complaining about something. I was going to complain about something tonight, but I really want to talk about my good fortune this evening. Pay attention folks. I'm about to say something nice. Don't get used to it cause it will probably not happen very often.

I love my in-laws. There. I said it. I do! My wife and I dated in high school and even after she went off to college and we were not together anymore, I still loved her family. During the time that I probably should have been at college, her sister was one of my best friends. I stopped by regularly at her mother's house to chat. Her father has always been someone I admired for a variety of different reasons. Even the man her sister eventually married was someone I thought was cool from the day I met him back in high school. When I did finally get to know her brother, I found out he was someone people just wanted to be around. And his wife was so much like me in a lot of respects that we didn't get along at first, but nowadays i think she's pretty all right too. In some of the darkest times in my life, I've known that there were people out there I could count on to get me through and I have always thought that I'm pretty lucky for that.

So when my wife and I eventually did rekindle our relationship after many years and get married, I got all these people attached to me for the rest of my life. And I couldn't be happier.

I spoke to my mother-in-law tonight and she asked me when I was going to post another blog. I was really kind of shocked by this. I knew she had been reading my blog. I knew the my father-in-law had been reading too. But I'd never thought that it would be something that they would anticipate. Though I never doubted their love for me as family, I'd always suspected that they kind of looked at me as kind of a bumbling oaf. I never would have figured them for appreciators of my brand of sarcastic insight. I'm pretty surprised to find out they like it.

It's not that they don't have senses of humor. Far from it. They have a great sense of humor. I say "A" great sense of humor cause I don't think I've ever heard both of them laugh at the same time. They just don't seem to find the same things funny I guess. But I'm getting off topic.

I wondered after speaking to her what it is that makes them "get" what I say in my blogs. And then I realized: I don't really know much about them. All this time I've known them (15 years. EEK!) and I still don't really know them as people, just as the parents of my wife. Heck, when I saw them last time I called one of them by their first name and it actually felt like I broke something as I've never even bothered to ask them what they would like to be called by their son-in-law. I know all about what they're like as parents but I've never stopped to contemplate the fact that parents are people too. Not mine mind you, but you get the idea.

I guess what I'm trying to say is this: Get to know your parents. Get to know your in-laws. You might just be surprised to find out that they're pretty cool. After all, you and your spouse had to get it from somewhere right?

Shopping Extravaganza!

So.......

Yesterday the wife and I went shopping to get me some new shoes. Mine seem to be falling apart and all I can do about it is bitch. Because even though I'm 32 years old, I still have some sort of anxiety attached to shoe shopping. Or any shopping really. I just cant see the fun in it like some people do. About the only fun I had during the trip was the wife's giggly school girl reaction to a particular shoe brand name:

I mean seriously, who thinks this is a good name for their company? The only way the name could be any funnier is if some guy named Harold became a partner and insisted his name be first on the box. Think of the ad slogans! "When you're shopping for shoes, the only box you want has Harry Nunn Bush on it." Best radio ad ever. Fucking genius.

But I digress.

So we're out shopping, and I realize that I might just be too picky about footwear. I have a brand I like, and I like to stick with it. I've always been that way. It helps cut down on the decision making. Is that really so bad? When I was a kid, it was nothing but All Condition Gear from Nike for sneakers, and Bostonians for dress shoes. but about 9 years ago, I found the glory that is Ecco. Now, set aside the fact that they're a tiny bit more expensive than other shoes, and just concentrate on the pros: They fit amazing, they last forever, and nothing feels better if you're on your feet all day like those of us in retail. In the past nine years I have had 2 pairs of dress shoes from them (I actually wore through the sole of the first pair after 5 years) and a pair of sandals that I bought about 7 years ago that I still wear to this day though it was probably time to replace them last year. I'd say that's a pretty impressive track record for shoes. What's wrong with sticking with a brand that you know works? In the same amount of time, I've gone through about 3 pairs of Sketchers sneakers, a pair of Nike sneakers, and an off-brand pair as well. And now I find myself in the odd position of needing a more diversified selection of shoes. (You mean I should own a black and a brown pair of dress shoes? Who knew?)

So I was kicking around the Ecco website thinking "Golly! It sure would be nice to see all these wonderful shoes on display somewhere!" and then the wife insists that we go shopping for shoes because we're going hiking this weekend and all my non-dress shoes are literally falling apart. So off we go to the mall in Broomfield, CO! We go into the DSW up there and the wife goes into shoe overdrive, but I can't find anything I'm too excited about. When we go into the mall proper, we find a gem of a store called The Walking Company that actually has all the Ecco shoes on display! Dress shoes, sneakers, sandals, Ecco's insanely light hiking boots, they had it all. It was as though I had reached the promised land. All I could think was how I could have gotten a pair of everything they had there and been blissfully happy. But then the downside of Ecco hit me. They're expensive. Not really all that expensive when compared to the top American name brands, but still more expensive than my broke-ass can afford when needing about 3 or 4 different kinds of shoes at one time. Ugh. Why am I so picky? Why must quality cost so much? Damn Euros. So I didn't get any shoes that day, went home empty handed, and cried myself to sleep pining for all the wonderful shoes I can't have and refusing to compromise with a lesser brand. Dilemma.

Ah well, at least I got excited about shopping for a little while.

Can we maybe kill a few of these people please?

Now, before I even get started, let me just say that I know what you're going to say. I know that the very act of me writing this blog contradicts what I am about to bitch about. All I can say is: Tough. It's a matter of degrees people.

Now, on to the bitching.

The next person who tells me I should follow them on twitter might just get stabbed in the eye. I'm gonna let all you twitter people know right now something that you should have learned a long time ago. Nobody cares about your life. That's right! Unless you are a film maker or an actor and are tweeting about the day's production on your current project, nobody cares. The only people who actually care about an average person's life are people that are similarly desperate for attention so they follow you so that you will follow them thereby giving the illusion of friendship. "Did you hear? (insert name of the person you know who tweets and annoys you about it) went to the mall today and got a new bag!" No. I did not hear that because I don't give a shit. Just because you know that they went to the mall at 11:47 A.M. doesn't mean you have a connection with them. If the the tweeter or twitterer or whatever the hell they call themselves (I'm just gonna call them "Twits" because it fits) had called you when they got home and said "Hey! I just got a new bag at the mall! You want to come over and check it out?" then that means you have a connection. Don't make the mistake of confusing someone else's narcissism with their desire to make sure that you know what they're doing. They don't care about you. They just want to make sure that you follow them so that they can pretend that there are people that care about them. It is merely an exercise in vanity.

But so is blogging.

Fridays are a day for reflection.... or: I guess I should say some shit.

So...

Here I am on a Friday night. I have a half hour to kill before the new Bob Saget special premiers on Comedy Central (Yes Bob Saget. What?) so I figured now would be a good time to fill in the blank space on my blog that I started here as a way for me to delude myself into thinking that people actually care about what I have to say. Then I realised:

I don't actually have anything to say!

I know. I know. I hear what you're all (both of you) saying: "How could anyone who talks as much as this guy not have anything meaningful to say?" Well, the simple answer to that question is that I'm not really that interesting. I mean, I'd like to think I'm clever, funny, have a unique take on life thereby having a wisdom others only dream of, and over-all I'm one of the sexiest men alive, but in reality only one or maybe two of those things is actually true.

So what does one talk about when one is not that interesting? Again, the answer is so simple it's almost child-like in its simplicity:

ANYTHING ONE FUCKING WANTS TO!

In the immortal words of Adam Sandler: "I have a microphone and you don't. So you will listen to every damn word I have to say!"

However, there's a drawback to this. I intend for this blog to be a pull-no-punches kind of outlet for me to say pretty much whatever it is I want about whatever I want. This could upset a person or two from time to time. To all the people I love and don't (usually) want to intentionally be hurtful to: Read at your own risk. To all of my more easily shocked or sensitive readers (you know who you are) I say: Read at your own risk. My words can sometimes be a bit provacative, inflamatory, or even downright rude. But that's just how I am. I'm not gonna take it easy on anybody folks.

You have been warned.

Huzah!

Well, the new blog is up and running here at www.sidewalkconference.blogspot.com as well as links to and from the Home page at www.sidewalkconference.com. Now that I'm officially a digital word pusher, I fully expect to get some blog junkies hooked to keep pushing me to write better and better blogs to help further enable them in their addiction. Let me know what can be done and I'll get started.

Blogging

I guess I'll do it too.


Shit.