Monday, December 13, 2010

Today the univese decided it hates me.

Well, it actually all started back on Thursday...

I was on my way to work on that fateful day and on the way there I had planned on dropping the check for my renter's insurance off at my neighborhood State Farm agent's office. I pulled into the parking lot (the same one that they have been located in for the entire year and some change that we have lived here) only to find out that they were no longer there. I immediately texted Joanna to tell her, and I went to work. She called them later that day and they told her "Oh, we moved across the intersection to a different parking lot. Sorry we didn't notify you, but we're assholes." or something very similar to that. So with today being my first day off since then, I decided to make hunting for their new office to be my #1 errand that I would run in a list of errands. By the time I finally tracked down their new office, it was exactly 11:58 a.m. according to my cell phone (and we know if it's on a cell phone, it must be true) I walked up to the door, and it's locked. "WTF?!?!" I exclaim perhaps a bit too loudly. (I did stop smoking last week so everything is aggravating me a bit more than usual) I look on the door to the office, and the posted hours say that they are closed from noon to one for lunch. "Well that's convenient. I guess I'll have to come back later". So it time to be on my way to go shopping for Joanna's christmas gift.

Now, about a year ago, my wife said to me "Ya know what I really want for christmas next year? I want a club sandwich on rye bread. You should start saving for that now." I was thrilled to hear that because I work at a store that sells club sandwiches, and I get a discount. So after the debacle with the insurance agent, I figured I would just go to the store and pick one up. Well first off, I turned down the wrong street because I wasn't paying attention, and that took me very much out of my way so naturally, I got stuck at every single red light between the agent's office and my store. Grrr. I finally get to my store and I go to the deli department. I grab the guy that works there, and tell him I need to order a club sandwich. So we start the process of ordering one. "Well, it doesn't look like we can order the club sandwich that you were thinking of, but here in the store we have a roast beef club!" Now, as we all know, a roast beef club isn't really a club sandwich, so his counter-offer made me irritated in more ways than one. I then proceeded to look at some turkey sandwiches, ham sandwiches, and variations on other types of sandwiches. What I finally decided on (after going behind the counter and putting the meal together for myself) was a Ham-and-Turkey, sandwich with cheese and bacon, but only two slices of pumpernickel bread instead of three pieces of plain rye. She will be happy with that, or she can go hungry.

Once that was done, I then went to the bank and depsited a christmas check (thanks dad!) bringing me one step closer to a new TV in about 7 years. Next up: Laundry!

The laundry facilities at our apartment complex have been down for about a month now, forcing us to go to a public laundromat. I don't really mind since I usually have week days off and it's not very busy then. That was not the case today however. It was packed. And I had 6 loads of laundry. I managed to get it all going, and even had some time to enjoy my new Star Wars novel on my Palm Pilot, but when I went to fold my laundry, that's when people almost started losing their lives. You see, the only folding table that was available, was the one that is right next to the little play-place they have set up for the kids so they don't bug their parents while their parents are doing laundry. One child, was not interested in not bugging his parents (or anyone else for that matter) so he just kept shouting "Mommy Look! MOMMY!" at (strangely enough) his mother, who was all the way across the laundromat trying to pretend like she didn't hear him. She heard him. Everyone else heard him. I hate her. The other kid, was just whining about how the kid that was shouting wouldn't play with him. I hate whining. I usually think that there's nothing worse in the world than violence against children, but today taught me that I might need to rethink my stance.

Upon leaving the Laundromat, I was so relieved to think that I was done, but as soon as I got back into my truck, something in my coat pocket stabbed me in the neck. My renter's insurance statement. Shit. I suddenly realized that I had to go all the way (about 30 blocks) to the agent's office to pay the insurance that, if they could be bothered to actually stay open through the entire business day, I would have been able to pay earlier today and would be on my merry (holiday reference) way home. But nooooooo...... I then had to stop at every red light (again) on my way there before I could finally go home.

I have never been so happy to have to unload the dishwasher and clean the coffee pot as I was when I got home today.

Happy fucking holidays.

p.s. Club Sandwich is a euphemism.