By Popular Demand

So......

Here I am at my computer again. Writing another blog so that the in-firmed have something to read. I have something I actually want to talk about so here we go!

Why is it so difficult for some people to follow the rules?

With a couple of notable exceptions, I have always been a rule follower. Whether it be traffic laws, the general rules of dating when I was much younger, Doctors' orders, or even the rules about what to, and more importantly not to put in the microwave, I have always been a little bit of a stickler for the rules. While I will admit to a willingness to bend these rules to suit me (sometimes in a pretzel-like fashion) I very rarely broke them. When I did break them, I usually had the good sense to create a secondary set of rules to protect me from any consequences of breaking the primary ones.

Now, I know breaking the rules can be fun. And sometimes, you just have to break the rules. It's a compulsion. Sometimes you just have to beat your chest and prove your dominance over the ones who set the rules in the first place. But in such cases, I have a rule of my own that dictates when it is, or is not appropriate to prove one's Alpha-Ness: Does the person who made this rule know better than me?

I see it at work all the time. People flaunting their rule-braking ways to show off how cool they think they are when really, they might just be acting a little stupid. For instance: we have a machine at work called "Big Joe" (I shit you not) and it's one of those big, elevator platform thingies to get televisions and what not down from where they rest in high places around the store. Now, whenever you're using said machine, you have to have the chains on the platform in place, you have to have your safety harness around your waist, and you have to have a spotter on the floor to make sure that you don't kill any toddlers when you come back down. (Stupid lawsuits) I follow all these rules because they just make sense. But I regularly see people every day breaking one or more of these safety rules. Why? Does it really set you up as a badass rebel to put yourself and any people around you in danger? Don't you think that the person who made up these rules knew better than you? Let's face it: Most of us are pretty fucking stupid. I'm always going to trust that someone who deals with safety protocols, went to medical school, or had any specific training for their field knows more about that field than I do. Ergo do what they say and don't rock the fucking boat!

Camping Trip

So.......

I just got back from my very first camping trip. And before I get to telling you all about the trip, I just wanted to touch on something.

As I have mentioned, this is my very first real camping trip. The closest I have come to camping before this was getting about an hour's worth of sleep the night before a large music festival. It was in the parking lot of the Texas Motor Speedway and it was in a tent, but it was an hour people. Now when I have told people in the past that I had never been camping, the response was always one of total shock. "What?!?! You have never been camping?!?!?" is the response I almost always got. Then, the person I was talking to would talk all about how great it was, and I had to do it once just to be able to say I had no interest in it. (I've never bungie jumped, strangled myself while masturbating, or killed another human being either, but I'm pretty sure I don't have to try them to make sure I have no interest in doing these things.....or do I?) So my trip this week was almost more about shutting these people up than actually getting out and enjoying nature. I've been now. And guess what? It was alright. Nothing to get too excited about mind you, but reasonably fun and I wouldn't be at all opposed to doing it again. The thing I find amusing is that people got so worked up about the fact that I had never been. As if it was some life-changing event that all people must go through. But really? It wasn't much different than being at home. Just more nature. And fuck nature. I love being outdoors, I just wish it didn't have so much nature. Trees, foliage of all kinds really, mountains, these are things I love. Also, building up a fire is pretty cool. But you can have bugs, snakes, and the persistent threat of wild animal attacks. I mean, I'm no dummy. Despite the wife's objections, when camping or doing any deep-woods hiking, I insist on being....prepared (Douglas knows of what I speak) to deal with these things. But I could avoid these things all together by looking at the trees in my apartment complex, walking to the end of my block and looking at the mountains, or building a tiny little fire in my fireplace:



The shoe is in there for scale. It's a size 11 1/2. When I say tiny fire, I mean tiny fire.

But with my griping aside, I still had a great time! Let me tell you about it:

We started out loading more than I can think any 2 people could use over the course of 24 hours into our car. We then drove for about forever to the tiny little campground at Belair Lake, northwest of Fort Collins, CO. There was only one other camper in the "No RV" section, so we were pretty content with the spot that we picked out. (When I say we, I mean the wife of course) We proceeded to pitch the tent (which until that moment, I had only done with a sheet, and usually first thing in the morning) which I insisted on doing myself with just questions being answered by the wife. Eventually, the wife grew tired of my not doing it just right, and jumped in to help, but I managed to get it done mostly solo.







Real roughing it calls for a king-size air mattress filling the floor of the tent.

Then we decided we would go for a quick hike where we saw many cool things. First, there was this mega-sweet view that we would re-visit later:





I'm very excited.

We found a lake:







Then, I decided I would try my hand at rock climbing:



I'm so Xtreme!

Sittin on a log.

Here I am traipsing through the "wilds":




She's getting pretty good at taking those pictures of the 2 of us. Even if it does usually take her about 10 tries.

Then it was decided that it was time to gather firewood for our evening cookout and morning coffee. As the entire area had recently been ravaged by pine beetles, there was plenty of wood to go around (even though we did have to chop some of it off of fallen trees) and very soon we had a very nice collection of combustion fuel. This is when I got to truly shine, for I am the Master of Fire!







Gettin it ready!







After the fire was set up, I figured I'd teach the wife how to play Backgammon. Fucking beginner's luck!



Dinner Time!

Being my first outing into the world of camping, we decided to go pretty simple with the food. All we did, were some Hebrew National Hot dogs, and some foil packed diced potatoes, garlic, and butter. Yummy!





Now, you may have noticed that I threw the ol' Under-Armour on. The temperature was steadily dropping and by the time the sun went down things were getting pretty chilly.

Here's the aforementioned view revisited:





As you can imagine, as the temperature was dropping, my masterfully built fire was more and more important:







The we were off to bed! I wiggled into my brand-new sleeping bag to pose for some photos for the wife:





We were going to get in some quality tent-snuggles, but the cold just kept making us laugh:



So this is what our tent snuggles looked like:



Then in the morning it was time to make a new fire so that we could have coffee. But it was cold!

Does this Balaclava make me look fat?

Finally! Coffee!



After breaking down the camp it was time to get in the car and go home:

Don't I look happy?

Breakfast

So........

The wife woke up this morning before me, (I swear she gets up at five) went into the living room to read, then promptly fell asleep again. I got up and moved around a bit, and was bored out of my mind. When she finally woke up, she asked me to make her French Toast. Being the progressive, wonderful man that I am, I said sure. As I'm sitting there making the stuff, it occurred to me that, though I'm good at making a variety of breakfast things, I just don't like breakfast. Or more accurately, I don't like breakfast in the morning.

I just can't seem to get excited about eating first thing in the morning. Bacon, eggs, omelets, sausages, the aforementioned French Toast; These are all things I love, just not first thing in the morning. The only thing I'm interested in at that time of day is coffee. Why is it, that all these wonderful things are morning foods? I'll agree that breakfast is the most important meal of the day, it should just happen around noon is all I'm saying.

Even most restaurants only offer their yummy goodness portions of the menu in the mornings. Why do they not want my money in the afternoon? It's a conspiracy. We as a people should demand that they offer breakfast at all hours of the day like Denny's, only not as crappy. (That's right. I said it. Denny's is crap. I cook better breakfast in my sleep.) So what if I want bacon and hash browns at 3 in the afternoon? To quote one of the great lost bards: "It's my prerogative!"

That is all.

Should I worry?

So.....

My friend Shine Out Loud posted a new blog today about some nonsense, so when I got home from work I got excited thinking "(Real name deleted) posted a new blog today. I should make a Margarita, sit down and read it!" Then I realized, I'm making a margarita before I do anything these days.

Now, this wouldn't be such a big deal to me if it wasn't for one teensy little issue: Up until about three months ago I didn't really drink Margaritas. When we moved here we went out with a friend and I figured I'd give theirs a try and before I knew it, I had the fixins in my house. (Though to be fair I did already have the Tequila.)

I don't really know what happened. I mean, when I say I didn't drink margaritas before what I really mean is that I had a bottle of Jose Cuervo 1800 in my liquor cabinet for about 2 years and I just now drank the last of it. I'm not a super big fan of tequila to begin with, furthering my state of wonder at my current infatuation with the wonderfulness that is my new lime-soaked concoction friend.

Maybe it's just yet another vehicle to get salt into my system. Hmm.

I'll ponder this a bit more and let You all know what I come up with. Post any good margarita recipes any of you have and while I wait, I'm gonna go get some more tequila!